One Who Dares

In Re: Ubiquitous Video of Police Attacking the Occupation

2012-02-08T19:54:00.000-08:00

The counterrevolution will be televised.

That Logo!

2011-12-04T15:24:00.001-08:00

Interest has been expressed in the logo for the TV show "That Girl," starring Marlo Thomas. These images are the best two I could find on the Net.

Elitism

2011-02-21T12:18:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to discern what Americans mean when they talk about "elitism" in the context of intellect. I think it means "person who doesn't believe that if someone present fails to understand what is being said that that invalidates it."

YouTube Account

2010-12-02T14:17:00.000-08:00

I have opened a YouTube channel that fans of our video activity might enjoy. The Vimeo account will still be active; feel free to explore it as well.

http://www.youtube.com/user/carlwilkerson

Another P Quote

2010-06-06T14:17:00.001-07:00

Saith the Doctor:

"I don't like the idea that 'livelihood' is the deadest thing on the planet right now. "

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P. Cleans Bathroom!

2010-05-21T13:51:00.000-07:00

Given Pattie's history of chronic illness, it's a little more noteworthy than it is for most people when she chips in around the house (which she does). She spent a lot of time yesterday cleaning and tidying the bathroom. The photos do not really do it justice, but they help.

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"Radical Ideas"

2010-05-18T13:25:00.001-07:00

The expression "Radical Ideas" is redundant. If it isn't radical, it's not an idea, it's just repetition.

Carl's Take on Modern Baseball, from 2002 Radio Show

2010-04-15T15:55:00.000-07:00

You can listen to an excerpt from First Person, Plural, Episode 6, entitled "The Social Context of Baseball" by clicking on the title of this post.

This segment was based upon articles, written by Carl in late 1990s, discussing how the breaking of the color line in Major League Baseball by Jackie Robinson is an excellent point of which to divide modern from pre-modern baseball because before the color line was broken managers were systematically excluding better players for arbitrary reasons, making baseball essentially exhibition ball rather than a good game based upon management that was doing everything in its power to win. This means that comparing stats before 1947 to stats after 1947 is problematic.

If you prefer to read it, click here

Preparation

2009-12-03T15:16:00.001-08:00

Prep is largely about deciding what NOT to do first.
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Another P Remark

2009-11-26T17:03:00.000-08:00

"Damn it, my integrity keeps leaking out!" -- Dr. Pattie Thomas
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Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-11-21T20:40:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday! Pattie has been very nice to me today, taking me places and buying me things. Here I am with the birthday cake, which happens to be a cheesecake.

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Smarter than a Fifth Grader

2009-11-16T10:14:00.000-08:00

This week's announcement that there is significant water on the moon, reminded me of a story about Carl's youth and water on the moon.

It seems that when Carl was in fifth grade, his class went on a field trip to a college to hear about science. Young Carl asserted that there could be water on the moon. He was first rebuked by the college professor and then rebuked by his teacher for bothering the college prof and then rebuked by his parents for being rebuked by his teacher.

Ah poetic justice...

So it looks like no adult involved was smarter than the fifth-grader!

Re: the _Onion_ satirical news periodical

2009-11-08T08:06:00.001-08:00

"I'm having an Onion moment!" (To be used when a news story that has to be a parody turns out not to be. )

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Today's Guest Star: Dr. Pattie Thomas

2009-10-30T14:25:00.001-07:00

P. came up with a quote I liked: "You're not a loser if you're in a no-win situation. "

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The Limit of My Creative Energies

2009-10-04T17:48:00.001-07:00

There was an old, bad Europop song in the 1980's that had the line, "I sometimes feel like somebody's watching me. " Today, I sang instead, to the same melody line, "I sometimes feel like somebody's watching TV. " I would add an audio file for clarification, but I'll probably get sued for this as it is.

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The Path

2009-09-27T17:46:00.001-07:00

Sometimes the path is to get off the path.
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Web 2.0

2009-09-26T08:22:00.001-07:00

Web 2.0 = Yahoo 1999
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IMG00249.jpg

2009-09-25T18:35:00.000-07:00

Again, I am one of those cool ppl who hangs around vans.

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Back @ Sonic

2009-09-25T18:28:00.000-07:00

The van has survived, at least long enough to make it back to Sonic again. Here's P giving up on ordering by rolling down the window and speaking into the intercom.

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IMG00203.jpg

2009-08-15T16:00:00.000-07:00

Here's me at the Green Valley Ranch sportsbook. T-shirt is one I got from the Minnesota Public Radio store in the Mall of America in Minnesota. It says, "So Many Books . . . So Little Time. "

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Van Go

2009-08-15T08:52:00.000-07:00

A quick explanation / justification for last night's photos is in order. My van is in danger of being crushed. The extension of the Cash-For-Clunkers program has impelled us to do more research into trading up, and it looks like a better option than we thought at first. We're not sure when we're going to make the deal on a new vehicle, but it could be any day now. But you don't just say good-bye to a conversion van without initiating some sort of van-appropriate activity as a sendoff.

Pattie wanted to go to dinner at Sonic last night. It occurred to me that a Friday night at a drive-in restaurant would do nicely for van-informed festivities and related media. I took about a dozen photos with my BlackBerry, half of which I posted to this blog and half of which will never see the light of day again.

The van in question is a 1993 GMC Vandura. It has taken us all over the continent since we acquired it in 2000. But it is aging, and it is unsuitable for Las Vegas (low mileage, hard to park). We are probably going to sacrifice it if we can find a newer, smaller vehicle that isn't uniquely ugly and inefficient.

This van was not my first. But it was a thing of beauty at one time, a pinnacle of middle-middle class consumer culture. It had mood lighting, bucket seats, ambitious upholstery, and even a television. Pattie and I slept in it more than once when we were roughing it in some campground somewhere in North America. It will be missed.

IMG00201.jpg

2009-08-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

Time to leave. Wave bye-bye to the nice ppl on the Internet, Dr. Thomas. :)

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IMG00200.jpg

2009-08-14T21:53:00.000-07:00

To satify any lingering curiosity on anyone's part, we present the interior of the custom van. (Mood lighting not pictured, because if it's on, it really ruins any attempt to take a photo. )

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IMG00199.jpg

2009-08-14T21:40:00.000-07:00

P enjoying the Sonic Fries.

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IMG00197.jpg

2009-08-14T21:30:00.000-07:00

I'm one of those cool people who hangs out around vans.

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IMG00196.jpg

2009-08-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

SONIC VISIT
The van looks especially good tonight.

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P and I @ Sonic

2009-08-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

I always enjoy a good drive-in restaurant. Here's P leaning out of the driver's side of the van to order.

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Predictions

2009-08-07T10:57:00.001-07:00

Everybody's awfully damn clever about predicting the past.
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Surreal

2009-07-28T14:27:00.000-07:00

The surreal ceases to be amusing when it becomes normative.
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Damn!

2009-07-24T17:35:00.001-07:00

I just saw _Damn Yankees_ (1958) again and thought I’d make a few smartass remarks about it. I find any photographic evidence that there used to be an even less successful ball club in Washington than the Nationals to be worth pursuing, and the two hours I invested in this film were no disappointment.

My appetite was whetted by mention in the opening credits of choreographer Bob “Don’t Call Me ‘Ray’ “ Fosse and Jean “Stifle” Stapleton. (Predictably, the dancing was tremendous but the singing sort of meatheaded.) Tab “Cat/Fish” Hunter looked like Mike Nelson from “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” after whom Hunter was no doubt styling himself in this role. “Fred” Gwen Verdon reprised her role from the Broadway production, and I had no idea how in the hell someone who looked as ordinary as she did and couldn’t sing that well had gotten the Broadway part in the first place until she started dancing, which sort of settled it. Ray Walston manages to be funny and reprehensible at the same time playing “Applegate,” who is some sort of unpleasant character from Norse mythology, I believe. (Funniest line in film was one of Walston’s: “You’ll find out who’s got the pain in the mambo jambo!” Well, it was funny in context.)

I did check the imdb.com site after viewing the film, e.g. for any mention of a working title such as _The Natural Goes to Hell_. All I discovered of interest there was that the ballpark they used for the exteriors was Wrigley West, in LA (I thought those hedges looked out of place for Griffith Stadium) and that Bob Fosse was married to Gwen Verdon (it figures he’d marry a good dancer, and with her, you can tell it wasn’t for her looks).

All in all, a nice afternoon at the movies, and it turns out that the ism about baseball building character is true: there were plenty of role models for growing boys like me. In fact, I think I have selected my favorite already.

Carl “And the Hopes That Were Dashed the Day the Stock Market Crashed / Those Were the Good Old Days” Wilkerson

Rhyzynergy

2009-07-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

Rhyzynergy is the possibility of necessity and the necessity of possibility.

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Xenophobia

2009-05-11T08:47:00.000-07:00

The ultimate form of xenophobia is deciding that only one form of xenophobia exists.

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Derrida Inverted

2009-05-08T20:09:00.001-07:00

If you reverse Jacques Derrida's famous quotation, it actually speaks more to the issue: "There is nothing INSIDE the text. "

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The Nothing Decade

2009-04-27T20:53:00.001-07:00

The decade immediately after the 1990's. Name evolved from the difficulty of determining name in manner of "the '70's," "the '80's. " One couldn't really call it "the zeroes. " In near-retrospect (it will be 2010 in 8 1/2 months), I find my name fits well.

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Love :)

2009-02-25T20:54:00.000-08:00

Love is the most worthwhile work there is.
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IMG00004.jpg

2009-02-18T21:18:00.001-08:00

What's a blog without a cutesy cat picture? Here's one of our little girl. You can almost see the inner goodness shining out of her eyes.

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Legitimate Government

2008-11-28T15:06:00.001-08:00

There is no such thing as a legitimate government, only a legitimated one.

Of the Berry

2008-09-11T17:35:00.001-07:00

Def: having been assimilated into the collective consciousness formed by BlackBerry PDA units and the humans with whom they have developed symbiotic relationships. For authoritative reference consult _Simians, Cyborgs, and Women_ by Donna Haraway, who argues in the relevant essay that a defining separation between the categories "machines" and "humans" is no longer present. What Donna had not figured out by publication time was how grateful everyone would be at the prospect! :)
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The whiny nineties

2008-08-30T19:03:00.001-07:00

The whiny nineties
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Reading

2008-08-28T08:55:00.001-07:00

The best part of reading is that you're never alone.
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Law

2008-08-27T10:42:00.001-07:00

"Law" is always only a dangling signifier. It is always at bottom an attempt to make violence appear to be discourse and indeed to be the ultimate form of discourse.
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Reciprocity works both ways.

2008-08-13T12:23:00.001-07:00

Reciprocity works both ways.

Isn't it great living in

2008-08-08T21:54:00.001-07:00

Isn't it great living in a place where "work" means "plastic surgery"?

The slime median

2008-08-05T17:11:00.001-07:00

The slime median

Carlism of the Day

2008-07-31T08:26:00.000-07:00

"It's not a relationship if each of you is the same person."

The american world

2008-07-16T14:17:00.001-07:00

The american world

The straight racket

2008-07-02T13:00:00.001-07:00

The straight racket

There is no rational response

2008-06-25T10:46:00.000-07:00

There is no rational response to an irrational situation.

2007-10-25T06:44:00.000-07:00

"Your dreams are how you know you won."

2007-09-24T15:34:00.000-07:00

"Original research is understood to reflect intellect: I'd like to think that understanding original research is understood to reflect intellect as well."

2007-08-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

"It's only surreal until it happens."

2007-08-07T08:58:00.000-07:00

"A Libertarian is an Anarchist who likes money."

2007-07-27T22:52:00.000-07:00

"People fall backwards into big piles of money all the time. It's frequent. That doesn't mean it's reproducible."

2007-07-21T07:44:00.000-07:00

"SCRIPTICIAN: The first person who answers the tech support number."

2007-06-13T13:50:00.000-07:00

"I've given up on social justice. Now I just want poetic justice."

2007-05-18T08:55:00.000-07:00

"I think stasis is very overrated."

2007-05-08T09:13:00.000-07:00

"Every entrepreneur is first and foremost in the entrepreneur business whether he or she believes it or not."

Year of Carl Update!

2007-05-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

Sixteen years ago today, I moved into Carl's apartment and took over his life. I know there are days when he regrets this and days when he celebrates it. My hope is that the latter days are far more numerous than the former.

To date, the year of the Carl has been more spiritual than anticipated. The winter brought a stark sense of economy of movement while we gathered our resources and figured out the future. But growth happens even when it is under the stillness of a frozen veneer.

Now that it is Spring, the ice is melting and the direction of that growth is apparent. White turns to green. Roots firmly fixed sprout towards the sky. And the future is now more focused...and obvious.

One of the questions before me has been what to do with this blog. My blogging almost ceased for nearly a year, with rare postings followed by weeks, if not months, of silence. The purpose I have for this blog is to share Carl's wisdom with the world, especially that which he is too modest to post himself. For now, I have decided (with Carl's input) to archive my favorite Carlisms here.

He is a very quotable guy!

2007 is the year of the Carl

2007-01-04T06:23:00.000-08:00

It will be fun.

Stay tuned.

2006-08-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

"Paranoia is nature's way of telling you to develop your critical thinking skills."
--Carl Wilkerson (August 2006)

Three Things

2006-04-18T16:35:00.000-07:00

“It has been said that we need just three things in life: Something to do, Something to look forward to And someone to love.”

--Anonymous

Something to do:

Sometimes I look to Animal Medicine Cards for guidance. This week, I pulled Dolphin:

If Dolphin has appeared to you today, frothing through the waves in your spread, you are to be a link to some solution for the Children of Earth.

This has given me a lot to think about this week. Carl and I often discuss right livelihood. I believe that one "right" thing was the book. We have plans for more.

Of course, much of the trick to right livelihood is to understand that people make their own choices. It is only possible to show the way, to be the way. But you cannot make others go the way. They must choose.

Freedom is essential. It is the key to authenticity. But it really hurts to see what people do with their choices.

Something to look forward to:

This week has been a difficult week regarding the future. I am facing the fact that I may experience deformities in my hands and feet. I didn't think that lupus would create that, but it turns out that in a small number of cases, it can. I don't like the idea of being crippled. I don't like the word "degerative." I am guessing that most people don't.

Carl has been central to my ability to live my life without restrictions. It is my hope that his burden won't grow over the years. He, of course, is optimistic. I still worry.

But when I sit and think about though, there is much to look forward to. We are still young and we still have so much creative energy.

We are going to NAB next week in Vegas. Producing media is one of the most powerful ways to make a difference in the current culture.

I am looking forward to all the wonderful things we can produce.

Someone to love:

That's the easiest part. I love Carl and that love is growing with each passing year, with each challenge met, with each creative project accomplished. He is my partner, my lover and my inspiration.

The other night, he said that I was his best friend and that I had taught him so much. The feeling is mutual.

Hey, I guess it is a good life after all.

Fifteen Years Ago Today

2005-12-30T09:32:00.000-08:00

Christmas of 1990 was one of the weirdest I've ever spent. I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say, I took a strange job in Birmingham with a wacked out photographer for no money and lasted one week before I ran screaming back to Atlanta where I had only moved in with a friend just one week before.

Lynne had invited me to come to Atlanta to live and I had done so because Clearwater was full of bad memories. I was looking for a fresh start. I had joked that I was going to Atlanta to fall in love with a guitar player. But in truth, I wanted to find a better footing the world. I had made a series of bad decisions and I was beginning to pay the toll.

Lynne and I decided that we would look for an apartment to share closer to town. I needed a job and had about $60 to my name and all my worldly posessions packed neatly into a 1979 Dodge Aspen (with some stuff in storage in Clearwater).

Lynne decided that she would invite this guy she knew to join us on our apartment search, stating, "You have to meet him -- you and Carl are the two smartest people I know."

She had me talk to Carl on the phone the day before after inviting him to come with us. My first impression was that he was grumpy. My second impression 15 years ago today, was that he was cute but a little conservative for my tastes. After all, he was a student at Emory Business School and he looked like a prep school, up and coming youngster.

First impressions are not always the best impressions.

In the fifteen years since that day, I have discovered a complex and sensitive life partner who still after all this time surprises and amazes me.

I went to Atlanta to find my life and I'm happy to say that 15 years ago today, I now know I did.

Creative Coupling

2005-10-18T07:23:00.000-07:00

Tish wrote a beautiful piece about dreams and relationships a few days ago. Reading it this morning reminded me about how fortunate I am to have a creative partner who is also a romantic partner.

Two creative minds living in the same household (especially in an RV like we did last year with my brother) can mean a lot of tension. We are willful people. That is a good thing. That is a bad thing. (As most things are.)

But creating something together is an incredible experience.

We have not been fortunate enough to create a baby together. Health, time, life got in the way of that potential endeavor and, well, the moment has passed.

But every project we have done together -- radio, video, writing, web -- has the feel of parenting something special.

But it is not just the act of pro-creation that makes it satisfying. There is a romantic element to such collaborations. It can be a powerful aphrodisiac.

We were married 13 years ago this month (October 10). We have known each other 15 years on December 31 and will have been living together 15 years on May 1, 2006. That is a long time in this day and age. I believe that the most key element to our collaboration in love is our collaboration in creativity. It is a creative tension, but it is also creative growth.

For that reason, I can say that I am more in love with Carl today than I was 13 years ago.

My Life Worthwhile

2005-09-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

Anyone who happens along this blog may wonder why every once in a while I come over here and write about my husband. It is my gift to him. So often couples let their private talk remain private, believing that any gushing about the other will be regarded as simply blind love. I happen to think that doesn't make any sense at all.

Who better than a spouse to tell the world about how wonderful you are?

Carl does this about me every chance he gets. With my earning my degree and with the publication of our first book, which is a memoir about my life, he's had an inordinate amount of chances lately. He is an incredible promotional machine for me.

I try to reciprocate, but I'm not as good at such things. I often miss opportunities because I'm not as quick on the draw as he is. Thus, the blog -- a place where I can reflect upon him in public without having to think on my feet.

Well, I've had an incredible week in which a number of opportunities have presented themselves all at once. I want to declare to the world, right here and right now that Carl's wisdom, guidance and support have made these opportunities possible.

First, I would not have gone back to school and got the PhD without his encouragement and support. This was especially true after becoming sick because he took on the role of caregiver as well as spouse and that is a thankless job, especially for a man. When someone in a family gets sick and woman takes care of that someone, most people at least remember that she must be under stress. Most people forget that a man who is a caregiver has to do just as much work and sacrifice just as much of their lives (if not more because social support doesn't exist) in order to care for that loved one. I know Carl doesn't make a big deal about this much because he has given freely, but he has been my rock and he has done more for me than any other human being on earth.

Most of all, he has been there when the times are not pretty. It's never fun to watch someone you love not be able to breath or talk. It's never fun to clean up after another human being. It's never fun to watch someone you care about not have enough strength to move. It's never fun to have to carry everything and remember everything, every day because your partner is too weak or too forgetful to be part of the team. And this is just the surface of what it means to live and love someone with a chronic illness.

Second, Carl regularly pushes me out of my comfort zone. Due to his creativity and talent, I have found myself increasingly in the public eye. I have always been outgoing, but I have never been someone who is comfortable with attention. But as I have given two radio interviews this week alone and I am beginning to have public speaking engagements, I am appreciating the extent to which Carl pushed me several years ago to go beyond that comfort zone.

Sometimes it is easier to see where the river has been than where it is going. I can see now that many of the things Carl has done with me and for me in the past few years are paying off right now.

Finally, Carl's contribution to Taking Up Space was key to the completion of that book. It was key because Carl's thinking helped keep my thinking on track. It was key because to do a sociological memoir you really need another person to dialogue, to capture the socialness of the process. It was key because Carl has lived through so much of what I have lived through. Stigma hurts the stigmatized and those who love them.

A lot of wonderful things are happening this week, and probably for the weeks to come. None of these wonderful things would have happened without my Carl.

Thank you, my love.

Scorpion

2005-08-22T21:27:00.000-07:00

I wear a scorpion pendant in honor of Carl.

The scorpion is one of the most misunderstood animals. He has a reputation for stinging and that reputation comes from the venom that is contained in his sting. When a scorpion decides to defend himself and protect what he honors, the rest of the world knows it.

But the scorpion really doesn't sting that often and it takes a helluvalot to get them to sting. Most of the time the scorpion is going about his business, eating other bugs and doing what makes scorpions happy.

Besides the fact that his birthday is November 21 (sign of scorpio), the scorpion is a great totem animal for Carl. He is a gentle soul who has suffered much in this life and therefore sometimes fights back with a stinger. Those who only see the stinger miss out on the remarkably sensitive and gentle person under the rock.

I am privileged to see that gentle side frequently. For that I'm a most grateful.

Carl Has a New Links Page

2005-08-05T18:24:00.000-07:00

Check this beautiful thing out :D

The One Who Dares, part three

2005-07-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

"Ambition is like love, impatient both of delays and rivals."
--Buddha

The reason I have not written in the past few months is that we have been busy creating a wonderful project born out of Carl's creatively funny (I mean humorous) mind and his strong sense of ambition.

Ambition is a word that gets misunderstood a lot. It is often equated with something cold and calculating in human behavior. But ambition can be soulful.

Carl is an entertainer at heart. He likes to perform before an audience. It is a trip to watch him at Karaoke where in spite of the poor sound equipment and the din of a bar underneath the music, he manages to shine.

"Secret Agent Man" was one of my favorites of the ones he does until he gave a performance at the local Alley Cats I watch the back up singers dance with him. Jealousy is a cruel mistress.

Lately, he's gotten more into bad jazz and the Rat Pack, so he's been doing "New York, New York." One performance at Alley Cats got huge applause.

But I digress.

Carl has many ambitions. Most of them involve some form of performance. It is fun to watch him play, well work, well play, uh...

The fact is when you do what you want to do work is play and play is work. The dichotomy melts away and what emerges is a life that when one is able to live it becomes joyful. I've addressed this question earlier, but it is important in understanding ambition.

Ambition, at its heart, is about love. It is about loving what you do and doing what you love. It is a hard choice to make in life. Most people will tell you that to do what you love is a luxury. Most people will tell you that to do what you love is self-indulgent.

Life is too short to listen to those people.

I, for one, am glad that Carl has dared to be ambitions and I look forward to seeing his ambitions flourish. Stick around. It is going to be fun.

The One Who Dares, part two

2005-05-21T15:10:00.000-07:00

"Bravery is believing in yourself, and that thing nobody can teach you." -- El Cordobes

Believing in one's self is a well worn (maybe worn-out) value in our society. I hesitated to use the above quote because of this. But I like that it comes from a matador and that it is about bravery.

I do think that it takes some bravery to believe in oneself in this world. So much of who we are is mitigated by others. We live in a social world and that is both good news and bad. Often social worlds are about social control. Expectations require us to be someone we are not.

One of the great things about being married to Carl is that he rarely accepts these expectations at face value. He questions quite a bit more than most and those questions can lead to a challenge to the status quo. Carl is quite willing to take the bull by the horns and that is a dangerous place to be.

Carl is fond of reminding me that he is quite good at spotting the "elephant in the living room." But I am not sure the metaphor is apt. The elephant implies something that everyone can see, but refuse to talk about. I think Carl is very good at seeing things no one else can. It is something obvious to those who would look but it is more than something no one will talk about, it is something that no one observes.

Maybe there is an elephant in the livingroom, but the room is dark and no one has enough sense to turn on the light. Carl turns on the light and sees the elephant and then says to the others, "see, there it is."

I don't know if any of this is making sense, but I think what I am talking about is twofold. One is that he has a keen sense of boundaries. He knows what he knows and he is unwilling to let others define things for him. The other is that he has a keen sense of observation. He knows what he knows because he is willing to look and he is good at looking.

All of this can be quite disconcerting to a world that is adept at hiding from truth and life. Carl is a lover of life in a world full of lovers of death.

"Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!" Friedrich Nietzsche

But most people miss this about Carl. They see the depth of his perceptions and they think that because he is willing to point out problems that means he is negative. I have come to learn that nothing could be further from the truth.

Carl probably suffers from hope more than any one I know. I mean what I just wrote. He suffers from "hope."

Hope is a painful aspiration. It is often disappointed. Lovers of life are full of hope. It is a difficult task to hope and simultaneously let people make their own mistakes. Those of us who hope, often hope the best for others. But we cannot make others aspire to our hopes. We have to let go and letting go hurts.

But how else will we enjoy life? How else can we take the bull by the horns?

I have found more joy in the hopes of Carl Wilkerson than I can express.

Hope and knowing oneself -- these are the great lessons I have learned from knowing Carl. These are part of his story.

(Stay tuned for part three -- coming soon on One Who Dares, the blog of Carl Wilkerson.)

The One Who Dares, part one

2005-05-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

The opposite of bravery is not cowardice but conformity.
Robert Anthony

It is early in the morning and I cannot sleep. A discussion I had with Carl this evening keeps racing through my mind. I am filled with love and compassion and pride when I think about Carl. I know it might sound corny to many, but I really admire him so much.

He said to me last night, "I want to tell my story, my way." You may be thinking, "Don't we all?" But because I know Carl and because I know what limitations have been placed upon telling his story his way, I knew that he meant more than the simple desire to make sense of one's own life.

I'm not sure how many entries in this blog it will take me and I'm not even sure I will do it justice, but Carl has told me his story(ies) many times and now I want to commit some of it to this venue.

Carl's story began in Cinncinati where his North Carolinian parents moved after school to start a life and a family. Things were good there for a while. When Carl talks about his family he often talks about the time in Cinncinati as the last time his family really was a loving place. By the time he was 4 years old, his father's failures and his mother's illnesses changed the tenor and tone of the remainder of his family life. It was when he was four years old that the family returned to North Carolina.

There are many ways to tell a biography. Psychoanalysts and Freudians want us to believe that our stories are determined (and they mean determined) by our families of origins. I do not believe that. I believe in choice. Unfortunately, I believe other people have choice as well and their choices limit my choices.

Carl's parents made some very bad choices. It is not my place to outline them all in this kind of forum. What I will say is that it does not matter to me why they did what they did. It is customary in this society, at this point when discussing parenthood, to examine a number of "reasons" for parental bad choices. None of these reasons mitigate the damage caused by such choices to young children. Only the bravest and strongest of children survive such parental choice because children have so little power and influence.

There are times when Carl tries on this narrative and tries to make sense of his life according to it. But Carl was one of the brave, strong kids who survived these choices. His survival does not mean that they were not guilty of such sins. They actively tried to ruin his life and their choices created arbitrary and unnecessary barriers that he had to brave in order to be the person he is today. Better choices on their part would have made his life easier. But it is my belief that they were not successful in permanetly damaging his life or limiting his chances. He has overcome.

One of the reasons I don't buy the Freudian myths is that there are many other choices made by people other than parents that can impact one's life (both good and bad). Another way to describe a life lived is to discuss educational accomplishments. Ask most people who they are and what you will get is a resume filled with references regarding education and job experience.

Carl is a highly educated man. No doubt much of his life could be described by reciting that education. But there is also no doubt that such a rendition would not account for the depth or richness of that knowledge. In addition, Carl's desire to learn often conflicted with the manifest function of education as conformity.

One of the things I admire the most about Carl is that he has steadfastly refused to conform for the sake of conformity. Schools (both the institutions and the faculties) have not been the source of much of Carl's education. He has often learned in spite of the education he was supposedly receiving.

Unlike most people, Carl's educational activities have continued long after he finished his masters degree from one the top 20 business schools in the country. He spends at least one day a week at the library studying math or Spanish or epistomology or whatever is coming across his path this week.

Carl is a great believer in public libraries and he probably uses his libraries more thoroughly than most Americans. His education, though, goes way beyond simply picking up books and reading. He has an uncanny ability to see behind what he encounters.

There are several components to thinking according to many learning theorists. My favorite taxonomy is analytical, synthesis, intuitive, and lateral. The first pulls things apart, the second put things together, the third springs to mind in a leap and the final one occurs from the ability to move outside the given box. When Carl takes on a project, all of these components of thought are engaged. He sees clearly the implications of what he is reading, puts them together with other experiences, makes leaps of understanding and finds ways to take what he experiences and learns and move in unprecedented directions. This makes him unpredictable and facsinating to watch. I learn from his learning.

So limiting a discussion of Carl's life to a description of educational accomplishments as if formal schooling and degrees could begin to capture Carl as life long learner is shallow indeed. We are so much more than our transcripts and resumes. No one proves that more than Carl.

(Stay tuned for part two -- coming soon on One Who Dares, the blog of Carl Wilkerson.)

What You Do and Who You Are

2005-04-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

One of the most aggrevating questions for Carl is the one that almost everyone asks when they first meet a man: "What do you do?"

I have always found it interesting to follow the difference between men and women on this question. I can go an entire evening in a party setting with a room full of people I've never met and not encounter this question or maybe encounter it only once or twice. Now I hear "what does your husband do?" a lot, but I usually have to talk about my work before the question arises.

It is an incredible question when you think about it. It assumes a hell of a lot. It assumes that all adult males should be able to answer the question succinctly. It assumes that knowing the answer to the question is tantemount to knowing the person. It assumes that any adult male who cannot answer the question is lacking something.

Carl does a lot. In fact, he probably does more in a day than most people in the 9 to 5 work a day world. In fact, he probably does too much. We have a sign on our wall that says "If you have been working for 15 hours and it feels like the end of the world, it is not. It is just the end of the day." That is because Carl often works until he can't any more.

But Carl works at many things that can't be formalized into a "position" or "job." I won't even try to give them labels here because to label them misses the point.

I put Carl in a growing class of people who understand the difference between having a job and doing what Sarah Nelson and D.J. Swanson (co-creators of CLAWS) calls "joyful work." These people also understand the value of leisure.

When Carl and I talk about work, we often have a hard time distinguishing between "work" and "play." This is because many of the things we do/have done are pleasurable and productive. We have come to call these things "activities" in an effort not to label them according to the dichotomy.

The following quote from Ivan Illich's Deschooling Society is quinessential Carl Wilkerson. I swear he said all of this in the past week in one way or another:

Many students, especially those who are poor, intuitively know what the schools do for them. They school them to confuse process and substance. Once these become blurred, a new logic is assumed: the more treatment there is, the better are the results; or, escalation leads to success. The pupil is thereby "schooled" to confuse teaching with learning, grade advancement with education, a diploma with competence, and fluency with the ability to say something new. His imagination is "schooled" to accept service in place of value. Medical treatment is mistaken for health care, social work for the improvement of community life, police protection for safety, military poise for national security, the rat race for productive work. Health, learning, dignity, independence, and creative endeavour are defined as little more than the performance of the institutions which claim to serve these ends, and their improvement is made to depend on allocating more resources to the management of hospitals, schools, and other agencies in question.

So the next time you see Carl (or anyone for that matter), rethink the kneejerk quesiton of "what do you do?" and ask a more fun question like "seen a great sunset lately?" or "what's your favorite ice cream?"

Come on, break the dominant paradigm and have some fun!

Who is Carl Wilkerson?

2005-04-27T10:39:00.000-07:00

Well, that is way too big a question to address in one post, but I do what to start out with that question because that is why I stole the blog -- to tell people who Carl Wilkerson really is.

There will be many answers to this question.

I plan to explore as many of them as I can for the rest of my life.

The superficial answer is that he is a Will Ferrell look-alike who can be both grumpy and funny. (BTW, he does a perfect imitation of Ferrell, especially Mugatu "I invented the piano key necktie. What have you ever done? Nothing! nothing! Nothing!" from Zoolander)

20 things you probably don't know about Carl Wilkerson:

1. Almost every single animal that meets him loves him.

2. He has composed over 200 songs and recorded many of them.

3. Our cat, Anawim, has total control of his mind and can make him do her will.

4. He cries at sunsets because they are so beautiful to him.

5. He knows all the words to every sitcom theme song ever composed (at least to every one before 1990).

6. He has never seen a single episode of the show "Friends" and has made it his quest in life to never do so.

7. He can imitate every main male character on Seinfield.

8. He is a mathematical genius and reads math books for fun.

9. He reads French fluently and he can hold his own in a conversation in French.

10. He has been to the Masters in Georgia (pre-Tiger Woods).

11. He plays guitar and keyboard by ear and can listen to almoast any song twice and play it.

12. He practices yoga.

13. He was a card-carrying member of the National Organization for Women for several years.

14. He ran his own e-bay business out of my mother's shed in the backyard.

15. He studied karate.

16. He used to work for a pizza joint that may have been a front for the mob. He knows nothing and he didn't want to find out.

17. He can recite his lines from scripts he learned as far back as high school drama. He is a master at memorizing complicated lines.

18. When we were living with my mom after my dad passed away, he gave my mom at backrub every morning as a thank you for coffee she made him.

19. He can name the winners and losers of every world series ever played. Just throw a year from 1903 to 2004 and he will most likely be able to tell you everything you ever wanted to know about the series for that year. He is a walking, talking, breathing, living baseball history alminac. (He even knows more than the average fan about Negro leagues, minor leagues, college leagues and women's leagues)

20. He sat in the hospital for three days when I had surgery in 1995 watching over me. The truth is, over the years, he has spent a lot of time waiting for me, watching me and taking care of me. He is my caregiver and my guardian. I would not have survived lupus, asthma, cancer or fibromyalgia without him. Most men would have run away by now. He has been my steady consort in spite of all the sickness I have faced.

I'm Taking over this Blog!!!!

2005-04-27T10:05:00.000-07:00

Early this morning I left taking Carl's computer and his car and going to my brother's RV to work for the day (he has wi-fi, we have nothing). I left a note to my dear husband that told him where I was and for him to call me when he awoke.

Carl says to me upon realizing that he has no computer and no transportation, "Well, I guess when you have sex with someone on a regular basis, taking their stuff isn't theft."

I laughed. Then I decided that was close enough to permission to steal his blog as well.

So, I'm taking over One Who Dares.

Okay, I didn't exactly steal it. I mean, Carl can still make posts and if he wants to he can change the password and kick me off the blog. But I've been looking for a venue to share with everyone what a great guy Carl is because he spends a lot of time and effort helping people notice me and my needs and my causes and it is time to not let his efforts be taken for granted.

So I found this old blog laying around the house and decided it need to be rejuvinated.

So, sweetie, I've stole something else ("What's new?" I'm sure he's thinking) and I'm going to let the world know about my Scorpion.

2003-02-27T08:01:00.000-08:00

Regular visitors to my blog will note a new feature: a message board/bulletin board/chat room sort of thingy on the right side of the page. This is called a "Tag Board" by its makers. Feel free to leave comments as you would on any other comment-enabled blog. If you have something lengthy to say to me, I recommend you email me at carl_wilkerson@culturalconstructioncompany.com with your thoughts.

"First Person, Plural" will be heard in its regular time slot today. This week's episode is entitled "Lights, Camera, Social Action." Those too far away to listen via FM radio may use the Internet simulcast put out by CFUV, as usual.

2003-02-26T11:25:00.000-08:00

The second VIFVF show will run tomorrow, at the usual time and on the usual station.

We have recorded a special half-hour "episode" to be included with this week's Women On Air program on CFUV. The show is from 5p to 6p Pacific Standard Time today; our bit will be on at some point during that stretch. As usual, Internet fans can tune in via RealAudio. The "episode" is somewhat pertinent to women's issues at points, and Pattie remains a woman.

2003-02-16T15:54:00.000-08:00

"First Person, Plural" is still on the air every Thursday at noon on CFUV-FM in Victoria. The Victoria Independent Film and Video Festival is in town, and Pattie and I have been attending to the extent that our health has permitted it. We have run one show tied into the festival already and may run another if it pans out.

2002-11-29T10:10:00.000-08:00

For those of you who haven't been told yet, I have a Carl Wilkerson Fan Club Mailing List. Topica is hosting it. Click here to go to the club's web page, which includes subscription information.

I am suffering through Buy Nothing Day today. Pattie and I agreed we would have to consume electricity, but otherwise, we should be able to make it to tomorrow. It strikes me that most days I don't buy anything, anyway. I'm not sure why it seems so spooky when I make it explicit.

2002-11-10T15:35:00.000-08:00

I put together a long response to Pattie's blog today. I thought it would be apropos to post it here as well:

Nice post. It's good to see you speak to these issues, if only because you are contributing to others' understanding in your attempts to make sense of all these atrocities. Atrocities are often referred to as "senseless," but that implies a uniquely determined logic by which they should be assessed. Often, the atrocities follow a very perceptible pattern, a quite rigorous "logic." It's just that the implications of the pattern are distasteful to us. Cause: the ozone goes away. Effect: we die. Not what one would have, but not logically inconsistent.

Check out discussions in literature of the "prisoners' dilemma" for a specific example of how disastrous results can occur "logically." The way to escape from such consequences is often to do some assumption-checking (beginning with assumption-marking, inevitably) and see where it gets you. In the specific case of the prisoners' dilemma, it is in the assumptions that the "logical" outcome of mutual destruction is set up. In particular, the forced competition ensures the results (and, BTW, shows up the "invisible hand" model as presumptuous). Logical systems always presume. A high-school geometry student knows the distinction between an axiom and a theorem (although his attempts to apply this knowledge anywhere but geometry class may well be followed by painful consequences, particularly if the application is well-suited, which only begs the issue of contextuality), and college calculus is littered with inescapable "regularity conditions."

I bring all of this up because much of what you lament is a result of American "logic." Development is good, ergo kill all the trees. Fat is bad, ergo shovel the fat people into the already-enormous slave class. The LOGIC, in the strict sense of that word is fine in and of itself; it's the ASSUMPTIONS being

(a) only several of many conceivable starting points from which "logic" could proceed (and an arbitrary subset thereof),

(b) productive of other conclusions beyond the ones that those who are still at liberty to speak want you to draw, or

(c) just plain erroneous

that causes the trouble.

Assumption-checking is no longer permitted in American culture except by the ruling class and the police class. Members of these two classes may attack the validity of specific premises in others' arguments. Anyone else doing so is met with, "Are you calling me a liar?" and will be beaten, killed, or lose permission to pursue sustenance. Attempts to attack purely logical considerations are somewhat better received, but one notes that as long as the party free from considerations of assumption-checking can continue to spout off propositions that must be considered a priori truths by his opponent, the ball game is essentially over before it begins.

Your perceptions are fine. The surreality you perceive in your situation is largely caused by having to speak to a culture with extraordinarily shabby standards and norms of discourse, some of which I have mentioned above. You are too good to be saddled with lowest common denominator rules of engagement, and that is the source, in my opinion, of your frustration. Somehow, though, I get the feeling that you will be better able to deal with such matters as time progresses and you continue your writing.

Thank you for inspiring me to write this.

Love,
Carl

2002-11-06T09:23:00.000-08:00

P. and I went to Vancouver last weekend for business reasons, and the trip went well aside from my not being able to drink the water or breathe the air. Oddly, I had been to the Lower Mainland half a dozen times before, including trivial visits involving little more than driving through it to get to the ferry to Victoria a couple of times, and I had never had any such problems. The air was especially, um, visible this time around, though, and it might have tipped the balance. My recovery time from long walks was out of whack, and my contact lenses also went on the blink at times. The conditions reversed themselves as soon as I got back to Vic and got a good night's sleep, however, so don't make plans to attend my funeral yet.

The business part of the trip went well. We did lunch with a married couple who constitute a film production company re: specific and general considerations we had, P. went to a conference at BCIT re: her day job, and I visited the HQ of the magazine Adbusters (and was unimpressed). Not too productive on the surface, but one has to sow a certain number of seeds, and P. felt that the BCIT conference was especially promising in that respect.

"First Person, Plural" is still in production. Episode 23 made it to initial broadcast last week, and Episode 24 is right on schedule to go out this week. We're still on every Thursday at noon (Pacific Time) on CFUV.

The SHOUTcast option is still available to me, but I'm going to save it for "utility" purposes, i.e., on a need basis instead of just broadcasting continuously. I'm not sure yet what uses I will put it to, but what I'm not going to do is pursue the "music-and-ads" format that seems to be mandatory for commercial success even among Internet radio stations. I expect I'll be firing it up on a case basis: it's there if I need it.

2002-09-15T16:45:00.000-07:00

I have transferred webcasting activities to SHOUTcast, an open source webcasting solution. Listen to my new station, which is usually on the air in the afternoon and evening hours (Pacific Time). For now, tune in and you'll hear old Coffee Shop episodes along with live voice breaks and other material. I'm not sure where to go with it in the future, but I'm having fun just setting it up and working out the kinks. I may even do a station page and provide related links if I get motivated.

2002-08-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

Episode #30 of "Coffee Shop" got recorded and uploaded on August 7. Still no decision on the "modified format." The good news is that "First Person, Plural" is now accessible from the show's web page. To wit, there is a "featured rerun" saved in the form of various MP3 files that visitors to the page may download and listen to using any player they have that supports MP3 format. Perfect for those of you who can't commit to the regular broadcast Thursday at noon Pacific time. Perhaps a similar repackaging would be suitable for "Coffee Shop" now that Live365 has lost its appeal.

CCC is branching out into video. Our first project is to be entitled "None Of Your Business!" and seeks to be business media criticism with a twist. The featured on-air personality will be yours truly, putting my MBA from Goizueta Business School at Emory University to good use. More about that as the technical considerations get sorted out.

2002-08-06T20:55:00.000-07:00

What a difference a month makes. My rec league team won the league championship. OTOH, Live365 is using the CARP/Library of Congress rulings as an excuse to put the screws to the microbroadcasters on their server. Already they are restricting access to our show to "Preferred Listeners" of their service, and they plan to delete our account unless we agree to pay a "royalty administration fee." Not being pleased with the idea of paying royalties on our own intellectual property, Pattie and I are going to record only one more episode, the 30th, of "Coffee Shop." After uploading that one (each of the previous 29 episodes has already been uploaded at some point), the show will be out of production. Live365 lowers the boom in mid-September: our Internet station will be off the air at that point. So if you want to hear more "Coffee Shop" episodes than you have heard to date, you will need to purchase "Preferred Listener" status from L365, or you can just hang around the CCC site and wait for the series to reemerge in a modified format, hint hint.

Our terrestrial radio show, "First Person, Plural," is ticking along nicely. We have thirteen episodes sewn up and are airing our first rerun this Thursday. We will be rebroadcasting Episode Five. Tune in if you can.

My brother-in-law Deeve (don't ask) bought Pattie a webcam for her birthday. We have been using it to explore the world of digital video. More about that as we become more experienced in the field, but early returns indicate that an Internet-based TV show or similar project may well be the next step for Cultural Construction Company.

2002-06-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

Coffee Shop, our Internet radio station, is one year old today! I'm not sure what we're going to do with it in the second year. We've been thinking about adding other programming, and we've also been thinking about broadcasting LIVE at least part of the time, which Live365 makes it possible to do.

2002-06-18T10:46:00.000-07:00

I wrote a response to a journal entry by a fellow blogger. It addresses her "coming out" as a fat person. I have copied my response below:

On a semi-related note, one thing that complicates attempts to "come out" is the possibility (which may even be normative) that you can tell someone about the issue and they can still not get it. Prejudice means preconception, and even the people who "know exactly what you mean" often do not have a clue what you mean when you are proposing a new paradigm. "Oh, I know it hurts, dear." It does hurt, but the point is not just that. The point is that it hurts AND that the dominant paradigm is bullshit. A lot of compassionate but misinformed people think that the best response they can give is to "help you adjust" despite your "shortcoming." The best response is for them, and you, to realize that you have no "shortcoming" in any a priori sense and to understand the supporting arguments for the position that you have no shortcoming in any a priori sense.

2002-06-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

The Dead Things won the Cup 4-1. My rec league team is now 1-2. We are taking a week off to let them drain the arena, after which we will play six more "regular season" games followed by The Playoffs.

BTW, I thought I'd throw in some philosophy in accordance with the Blog description. I did a review of Baudrillard's Simulations for "First Person, Plural" (actually part of a "tandem" review, with P. doing a book by Ritzer). I will probably be doing a review of one of Derrida's works for one of the shows we are planning for July. So much for philosophy.

2002-06-07T09:59:00.000-07:00

We played our first rec league game last night and lost 8-0. Still, the tenor of the game was friendly enough: I had half expected the other players to be bitter old failed jocks, and they weren't, at least not in spirit. Moreover, the rec centre had indicated that if the teams were unbalanced, they would share the wealth by making a few "trades" and evening things up, so our suffering will not be as protracted as certain teams I could name.

In unrelated news, Detroit tied up the Cup finals versus Carolina last night at one game each. I am frankly surprised that the Hurricanes won either of the first two games against the Red Army. Their roster strikes me as devoid of any stars, unless Ron Francis having been one five to ten years ago counts. I mentioned my bafflement to one of the other players on my rec league team, and he said that Carolina plays the dreaded Neutral Zone Trap to perfection. Maybe my team should try that.

2002-05-16T09:43:00.000-07:00

Episode 1 of "First Person, Plural," our show on CFUV-FM, went off without a hitch last Thursday, May 9. Today we air Episode 2. We are also uploading additional "Coffee Shop" episodes (especially since we may not have the option later if Live365 gets nuked off the air by the U.S. federal government).

The weather is geting nicer here, slowly but surely. I have signed up to take part in a rec hockey league for players over the age of 35. The league is being conducted by the Oak Bay recreation department and begins in June. See you on the ice!

2002-05-01T21:30:00.000-07:00

Lots of activity today. We aired a special hour-long episode of "Coffee Shop" all day long on our Live365 Internet radio station. We also heard the PSA re: CARP we had submitted on L365's special "Stinky Fish" protest/light pop station. We recorded a promo for our new show premiering on May 9 on CFUV-FM in Victoria, "First Person, Plural." Later in the day, Pattie cohosted the weekly "Women On Air" show, devoting the episode to CARP and related issues, including the CPCC. I recorded the broadcast from our home, and after I picked her up at the station, we listened to it together while sitting in the van alongside Dallas Road, looking across the water to Port Angeles and the mountains of the Olympic Peninsula.

2002-04-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

Pattie and I walked to Beacon Hill Park from our apartment today.

The temperature felt like it was about 15 Celsius, and it was sunny the entire time we were outside. We stood on a stone bridge and watched a number of ducks practicing landing on a pond: they would take off, fly across the pond, and touch down on the surface of the water in a manner that allowed them to brake gradually and stop just before they reached the shore. Then we went to a coffee shop on Douglas near Belleville. Pattie had mocha, and I had cappuccino. Then we walked home. Pattie did a very good job of walking throughout. I was afraid her stamina might give out, but she held up nicely.

2002-04-24T07:38:00.000-07:00

Hello!

2002-04-24T00:35:00.000-07:00

In 1984 I wrote a song, about myself, that made me a cult hero in my dormitory. Performances of the song were obligatory at social events, and the song has survived all these years, destroying in its wake the composure of everyone who has heard it.

The Carl Wilkerson Fan Club Theme Song

Carl Wilkerson!
He’s the answer to our prayers.
He’s the only one who dares.
Carl Wilkerson!
To wrest the tyrants from their place,
To knock the usurpers on their face,
He’s come to save the human race.
Carl Wilkerson!

Carl Wilkerson!
He’s a man above reproach.
On all elitists he will encroach.
Carl Wilkerson!
With steely eyes and flaxen hair
He speaks the words no man will dare.
He’s come to save us from despair.
Carl Wilkerson!

Carl Wilkerson!
He’s the man with will so bold.
His mind is quick; his heart is gold.
Carl Wilkerson!
He wants to keep our thinking free
From pseudoaristocracy.
He’s come to save our liberty.
Carl Wilkerson!